how surprising. it's like 2 am and i'm sitting here typing out a blog. i hate my life. fml.
i have a question, answer it. how do people pick their friends? i mean for me, i don't even know why i have friends. i'm quiet, boring, not very intersting to talk to, ugly, impatient, stupid, random, and as so many people love to call me, "innocent." i'm abnormal, probably classified as a loser in school. so how exactly do people know me, talk to me. it doesn't make sense. i have been wondering this ever since i went to middle school. i have changed so much from elementary. i was outgoing, had a lot of friends, knew everyone, teachers liked me. and then i guess middle school screwed me over. new kid, only knew two other people, alone in one class. poop. how do you pick friends? nobody gets how insane i'm becoming because of school. in all my classes i am labeled, like a campbell's chicken noodle soup can, "quiet, the quietist girl in the class." i know i'm more capable from what a piece of shit i am. i don't know. i just worry too much maybe.
i wish i could change, i wish i did something to make my life worthwhile, i wish i could be one of the people who follow phrases like, "you only have one life, make it worthwhile." and all that crazy stuff. i mean never having a relationship sounds so silly in high school, or that's what it seems to be in washington. where practically everyone is in one, every movie ends up with the 'perfect' couple. then again, it's all hype. most people are only in love with the idea of having a boyfriend, than actually having one. i need a life. geesh.
no, i need an escape.
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Christina, take my advice for once:
ReplyDelete"i'm huggable, short, asian, and have a love for life. what more is there to say?"
contrasted with:
"i'm quiet, boring, not very intersting to talk to, ugly, impatient, stupid, random, and as so many people love to call me, "innocent." i'm abnormal, probably classified as a loser in school."
And some people like the way you are, but aren't professing it openly. Like me. Which makes me professing it openly...K...but anyways, let me make this clear, you do not have to change yourself around 360*, just focus and accentuate all the good traits about you and yourself. Maybe you'll shine brighter than ever, maybe even more than lackluster Central. And trust me, if you don't (want to) know what your good traits are, your friends across the coast can easily rattle off random ones, but how deep, how sincere are they when they say, "Oh, you're sophisticated," or "You're smart!".
A good litmus test is... really noticing real-world conversations and see how people react to what you say, how you say it, etc. Your eyes must be sharp on watching their body language while tasking your emotions and how you handle them. I know you, you can see for miles and miles and you know it, too.
Anyways, I'm sorry for being an immature ass on OMGPOP, and I'm sorry for hassling you with a very long encouragement shtick. Eh, I try.